Ms M

Ms M
The Fedora

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Good Ole Days


Aloha All,

I was thinking recently, about my life in the military. I was wondering why DADT didn't seem to affect me so much on a personal level.

I realized it could be any of several factors, one being I was a diehard diva girly-girl. But I don't believe that was the only reason, if even a consideration. I also played basketball (don't break my nails,lol) and softball, and was pretty good at just about any sport. So, what did that mean? Did it cause a conundrum for anyone? I don't think so.

Here is my preDADT family:


We were ‘normal’ people, a couple, and viewed as such. I was out to pretty much everyone …well … except that sect of people known as my family. If you have as many preachers, evangelist, professors and such in your family, as I do you probably understand. Lol I guess I felt like I could only be myself away from them. BTW, I was wrong about that. LOL

And that’s it ….. I was just myself. My then-partner Barbara, our daughter Andrea and I were just ourselves. No fanfare, no fights with the neighbors. We purchased a home, we went to church, we had family picnics, some of which included Barbara’s family, and on rare occasions hung out with a few ‘enlightened’ folks from my family. We even rolled eggs on the White House lawn on Easter just like other families. There was no rainbow flag, heck, I didn’t even know what that was. ... and even if I had known, was it really necessary -- for me -- at that time? It didn't feel like it, but then again, I didn't know the legacy of the fight for equality for that part of my person. I suppose I lived in a bubble. ...a very happy one that was filled with enough OTHER fights for equality on other levels.

I begin to think that DADT came about because so many other people were not happy in their own lives and had to find a way to invite others into their misery.

Desert Shield (1990-1991) was ending, and Desert Storm beginning. People began to scrutinize each other, their government, their neighbors, everything.

DADT was instituted when Andrea was 10 years old. The difference was so dramatic that, between that and other factors I said goodbye to the military by the time she was 12. I had a promising career, and was on the fast track, but it was time to go. One thing my Dad taught me was to NEVER outstay your welcome.

I hope that one day ALL families get to enjoy the quality of life and happiness the family in my picture had. ALL families.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

'Tis the season...

‘Tis the season for giving, and some of my writer and publisher friends are doing just that!

Check out a chance to win a free book in the Holiday Hootenanny! They are in day six of a twelve day giveaway. The elves over there are giving away as many as 5-6 books a day, one to each lucky winner:
Check out the Hootenanny!

My friends at Bella Books Publishing have also been bitten by a peculiar holiday 12 day giving bug as well. They are having a daily drawing and guess what the winner gets?
Wait for it, … wait for it…..
Get your whole order.....FREE!

The first day there were five winners to kick off the holiday madness, and I see at least two to three winners a day thereafter.

Aw man, if only MY luck were better. LOL Anyway check these funfests out. Read, enter, browse, shop, or just make a wish list. Just have fun!

I don't need luck to win with Rachel Spangler or Gun Brooke.

Rachel is blessing us with wonderful music daily at his blog Wonder Boi Writes where she is counting down 25 days to Christmas. It is a wonderful, eclectic collection. Check it out!

Gun has her annual Advent Calendar offering up. If you like Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine, look out! Gun does a wonderful job each year of entertaining us with *our* stories using these characters.
Trekkies....especially lesbian trekkies will think they've died and gone to ...well, where ever Trekkies go. lol



…and NO, Ebenezer, I am not being paid for these PSAs. I just think it’s a great and fun thing some of the writers and publishers are doing.
Wait…maybe I *am* being paid. Those authors DO keep right on writing. That’s good enough for me. LOL

If I have missed anyone who has been bitten by the holiday spirit, let me know and I will add them. It's a free for all, and I will plug just about anyone offering a chance to win free books!


Hope everyone is have a great holiday and winter season (except Australia and the places where it is summer, lol), and staying warm!
Aloha

Monday, December 13, 2010

Remember that video from GCLS I tried to post months ago?

HA! True growth in blogging.








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Yes, I am, as always excited about the prospect of the GCLS Con, and I am gearing up for the next one.

...now to recover the pictures from the old laptop so I can get them on. Oh well, one step at a time.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

ALL things, good AND bad, MUST come to an end

Aloha my lovelies. Tonight I am venting. Hope I don't scare ya off. lol


When I went into the Army in 1974 the Vietnam war was still raging on. We all had to report to the Retention Center for testing. We filed into a room and sat at desks much like the ones we had just left behind in high school. As we were all nervously waiting for the test to begin, there was a sergeant making the rounds, sitting on one of the desks, just talking and trying to get us all to relax.

He proceeded to tell us that there would only be a short quiz on that day. He said he would be passing out a 3x5 card with several question on it and we were to answer them honestly. He also said the answer to number 5 and number 6 were no.

Question number five asked if you had ever done drugs, including marijuana, and question number six asked if you were a homosexual. I raised my hand and asked what a homosexual was. The sergeant laughed. He said if I had to ask, then I wasn’t it. He said again that the answer to ALL the questions were no. He looked especially long and hard at a particularly fragile looking young man in the room. At that time I did not know what a homosexual was, and I did not know the significance of what the sergeant was saying or doing.

I soon discovered what a homosexual AND a lesbian was.

I remember the witch hunts of the late 70s, even as we were winding down the Vietnam War. Gays were afraid to breathe, afraid to associate with anyone, even themselves. I remember a girl named Charlie Brown being marched into the barracks and sequestered on the third floor. We were told in formation not to associate with her, not even to SPEAK to her. Charlie actually, with a civilian lawyer, in Germany, won her case, but I can’t imagine she stayed out of trouble long… she was a LOT of fun. Lol I hope life, after the military treated her well.

They seemed to comb through the ranks with a fine toothed comb. There always seemed to be someone in ’trouble’. But in spite of that, I practically LIVED in my GF’s barracks room, day and night. She worked in the Orderly Room, so she had a room of her own. We entertained like an old married couple. Hell, even the First Sergeant came by often for some of whatever we were cooking up. We snuck into the communal bathroom and took bubble baths together (the bathtubs had a door, even if the walls didn’t go all the way up to the ceiling, lol), and no one ever said a word.

That was in 1977, before DADT ever made an appearance. No one bothered us, and we didn’t bother them. We did not flaunt or TRY to bring undue attention, but by the same token, we pretty much did not hide. We lived our lives, just as others did. We respected them, and expected them to respect us in return. I can honestly say that no one ever said anything negative to either of us, that i am aware of. We were expected at house parties and nonmilitary functions as a couple. I think we were pretty well liked and accepted.

I also remember a young soldier, very effeminate who TOLD the military he was gay. That did not prevent him from serving two tours in Vietnam, or from earning a Purple Heart (he stubbed his toe…actually, he was ‘accidentally’ shot in the foot, trying to get out of his second tour in ‘Nam), OR from being the General’s Aide. The General loved his attention to detail, and no one could touch him. It seems, as with most things, it is a matter of convenience, no? It is a matter of who you know, and who you are.

Those years of the blatant witch hunts were scary times. I imagine that it is much like that in the military again now. Like post war Hollywood, someone was always trying to get someone to turn or someone else, or rat them out. I was in the Provost General’s office on MORE than one occasion. There was no edict, but I did not ask, I did not tell, and I REFUSED to be pursued. I stood on my personal integrity.

Then, in 1993 came Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Pursue. It was a mandate that SHOULD have allowed soldiers to live our lives, to just BE. In actually, it became a way for gays to be subjected to unspeakable things, and to feel we had no recourse, nowhere to turn, no leg to stand on, no advocate. It became a living trap, a death sentence for some, a torture chamber for others. The last part, “Don’t Pursue”, has been completely discounted, so much so that it is not even referenced anymore. The first part, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, has been raped. This mandate was put in place so those volunteering to serve and to die for their beliefs and their country could still answer no to the questions on the card (what‘s one little white lie when democracy is at stake), and then have a measure of protection once serving. It seems to me, there was NEVER a ban on gays in the military, just on asking someone if they were gay, telling someone you were gay, and if any circumstances for suspicion arose, the command was not to pursue, ask or attempt to prosecute. There was to be no acknowledgement, no seeking, no determining if there was any truth to such allegations. So much for following the letter of the law.

This THING that is in place now, this DADT, this beast, SHOULD have it’s head lopped off. The cute, cuddly, well meaning baby that was to PROTECT a sect of soldiers has grown into a monster. An out of control, evil, begrudging, vengeful, sneaky monster, controlled by a heartless Beast Master for his own purposes.

IT NEEDS TO DIE!

DADT
Ó2010
Ms M

Don’t Ask,
for help if you’re harmed because you’re gay.

Don’t Tell,
anyone if you’re hurt along the way.

Don’t Pursue,
JUSTICE

To ask or tell is living hell,
oh yeah, this system’s working VERY well.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Time IS relative...but I can do better!

Wow, more followers than I thought. lol

So much has happened, and I really DO want to share it. Please bear with the procrastinator in me while I try to make it up to you. ;-)


I will add, that one of the reasons, besides living life and procrastination, that is is taking me a while is much of my stuff that I want to share is on my old laptop. Did I tell you that my laptop had chronic issues and I retired it? Well I did. I have not taken the time to recover the stuff from the old one and get it up on the new one. I wanna be careful with that anyway, cuz don't wanna give the new one a heart attack. lol I also brought a new desktop hard drive that will hopefully help make things easier in the future.

Anyway, I appreciate all of you for your patience, and for how you check back occasionally to see if I've shared anything.

Enjoy the upcoming holiday season!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Life Goes On

Aloha All!

Hi honey. I know you are reading this. Thanks for the encouragement. Sometimes I just need a fire lit under my arse. Lol

I was so excited about the idea of being able to upload some video from the Con to the site but I ran into difficulties and became discouraged. I apologize to all for the extended delay.

Where to start….so much of life has happened since I last checked in.

I was, and still am excited about the Con. It was not only an exciting time, but was fraught with new opportunities for me. I read two of my ‘Con’ poems as part of the welcoming ceremony. I hung out with Con Virgins and made many new friends. Ms Karin Kallmaker has immortalized me as a character in her current release Above Temptation. (Thank you, Lois. Your generosity continually amazes me.)

I was not on a panel this year but I was a mentor for a new and upcoming writer. I am so thankful that Renee Bess the Director of Education for GCLS felt it was something I could do and make a meaningful contribution to. What an awesome experience. I co-mentored with SX Meager and learned so much during our session. It was wonderful to have my thought validated by someone of her caliber. If you have note read any of her books you should do so. I especially love All That Matters.

I was not part of a panel this year but I was a Presenter at the Award ceremony for the first time, and I ended up presenting the award to my dear friend Cheri Crystal. It was her first time winning and my first time presenting. AWESOME! I was also a part of the Authors auction (did I mention I have a short story published,lol) for the first time and was able to be a part of raising funds for GCLS.



We ended our conference in the black this year! As I said....it was a wonderful time:

(Tried to load video here......technical difficulties.

It was also the very last time I would share with my dear friend Pam Butler, who passed on shortly after the Con. I am so glad I got to spend time with her. We had a chance to share laughs, song, food, and thoughts about life, parents, partners and many other things. We reflected on pass Cons and the time she rode her BMW bike all the way from Colorado to Arizona to spend time with us.

Pam was an Army helicopter pilot, a firefighter, a proud daughter, a friend, a writer, and an avid reader among many other things. I first met Pam at the Con in Atlanta. She was a teddy bear, painfully shy, very proud, and with a wonderful sense of humor. I regret not knowing her better but one of my fondest memories of Con 6, 2010 will be karaoke night when Pam shared her ‘inner femme’ with us and sang I Feel Pretty. No one would have guessed that she knew she did not have long with us. She made every moment count. Thank you Pam, for the lesson of seizing EVERY moment.

...more soon..... Promise

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Growth In Blogging

I've decided that it is not so much about how much, or how often I put something on my on blog as it is about WHAT I put here. I think that quality over quantity really will apply to what I am trying to accomplish here.

So, having said that. You may not see updates often, but I will try to make them as entertaining and informative as possible. ;-)

Soon I will be posting a recap of the 2010 GCLS Con. It was a blast. I am still on a natural high from the excitement of it all. I hope to have a few pictures and videos as well, as I continue to learn how to use this tool.

Thank you to my one (so far) listed follower, and to those who have browsed thru.

Aloha all!